Recruitment Apprentice to Eccentric Millionaire @ Fun Ecom Co | Great People & Flexible Hours

• Posted : 3 weeks ago

- Do you enjoy learning about people, then judging them harshly?

- Do you get off on finding diamonds in the rough?

- Do you thrive in a high-stress environment filled with political infighting, bureaucracy, and corporate nonsense?

If so, then we are the place for you, except you might hate how nice of a company we have - filled with happy, generally competent people that don’t put up with jerks. Frankly, it makes me sick how nice everyone is.

We are remote full time, have very flexible hours, people are judged by their output, not by how much they suck up to the boss, and turnover is super low because the company believes that happy employees = happy customers = happy bank account. Simply disgusting, if you ask me.

--Is this a real job ad?--

Yup! Amazingly enough, we actually paid money to post this on a bunch of different job sites. And it’s not even a pyramid scheme! Plus, get this: the owner just started paying our 60ish employees with money instead of Pizza Hut coupons - we’re big time, people.

Our careers page is actually worth checking out to learn more about how insane we are (sidenote: it won a web design award in 1993 - we’re a pretty big deal):

http://www.jlstradingco.com/careers/

--What do you guys do?--

We sell a lot of different things but our primary focus now is developing/engineering from scratch very cool products in a variety of niches. 

A small sampling:

- Bad Parking Cards (https://amz.run/5Eya)

- Steak Weights (https://amz.run/6kin)

- Beverage Barricades (https://amz.run/6kip)

Our business is growing rapidly every year, and it’s our intention to continue that for as long as possible, which means we need good people to help us keep up with the growth.

--What is your company like?--

1. Full Time Remote/Flexible Hours. You will be working from home in your pajamas, on your schedule. And we don’t care if you work 10 hour days 4 days a week or want to catch up on the weekend. So long as you get a lot of work done, we’re happy campers.

2. Complete Work/Life Balance. If you’re routinely working more than 45ish hours, you’re gonna get a friendly talking-to. We want you to be operating at 100% capacity, which means that you need to rest.

3. You Can Be Yourself. You don’t have to put on a fake, professional face. You can just be yourself. You can talk smack to the CEO, and no one will think anything of it.

4. Major Opportunities for Career Growth. We are not trying to just be a small business. We plan to be doing $100 million annually in the next few years. We promote quickly once we identify talent. It doesn’t matter what your credentials are – it matters what you get done.

5. Strongly Anti-BS. Anybody in the company can (and is expected to) tell the CEO when he is wrong. There are no bureaucratic or BS rules getting in the way of getting work done.

6. No Micro-Management. Once you’re trained and have demonstrated you know your stuff, we are pretty hands-off. In fact, if you need external management to stay on-task and motivated, we probably aren’t the place for you.

7. Supportive Environment. We don’t operate via intense stress or unreasonable top-down deadlines. Everyone wants you to be successful – internal politics are at a minimum here.

8. No Toxic People Allowed. We try very hard to screen out mean people before they get in, but in case they slip through, we fire them quickly. Imagine never having to interact with toxic people at work - how nice would that be?

9. We’ll Invest in Your Training. We want you and everyone to get better constantly. You’ll be learning new things all the time, and are strongly encouraged to invest time every day to learn new things, improve your system/work process, and just generally try to make your life easier.

10. Four+ Weeks Vacation. We 100% want you to recharge, so having plenty of time off is absolutely worth it.

11. Self-Funded So We Can Do What’s Right for Us. We don’t have to answer to anyone but ourselves, so we can make the right decision for the long-term health of the company vs trying to get big too fast or cut corners to appease some selfish investor.

--What are your company’s values?--

See here: http://www.jlstradingco.com/careers/

Yes, those are legitimately our values. The careers page is definitely worth checking out - it’s not just normal corporate BS. We promise you’ll learn a lot about us.

--OK, so I’ve read like 8 dang pages about you guys. Will you tell me what the actual job is?--

No.

--Wait... What?--

OK fine. Super short version:

Managing our hiring process and doing external recruitment activities to fill the company with amazing people.

Here is a bulleted list of responsibilities:

- Help managers develop clear job descriptions and other materials

- Manage the candidate workflow so that everyone has a positive experience when applying for a job. This includes activities like evaluating applications and interviewing candidates

- Develop marketing materials to sell candidates on why we’re awesome

- Do candidate outreach to try to find great people who aren’t actively job hunting

- Potentially do other generalist activities during the downtime of the hiring schedule

Like everyone else in the company, you will also need to innovate regularly - which means figuring out ways to improve quality and production speed.

It is challenging, but fun work that’s going to require a lot of time and task management, problem-solving, and a lot of people skills.

--Do I need experience?--

We expect you to have a minimum of 70 years of experience (120+ preferred).

Oh, you haven't lived two lifetimes eating and breathing Amazon 24/7/365? Who TF do you think you are, reading this job description? You absolute buffoon.

Oh, you haven't been directly involved in at least two (preferably three) World Wars? You're not even qualified to operate our coffee machine, you sentient potato.

Oh, you didn't observe the Big Bang as it happened? Get out of here, you pirated copy of Windows 95.

I am gonna literally throw up from the mere thought of your hubris, that you could apply for this position. Absolutely sickening.

Also, no you don't need any experience.

We want special people, and don’t give AF what their background is. Most of our best people did nothing remotely related to their current roles, so if you've never done anything like this before, don't sweat it. We hire 100x more for potential than existing knowledge. The Big Bang requirement still stands though.

--Is this only for complete noobs?--

Well, maybe not completely. Our hiring methods are quite different from others. Which means we’ll need to train whoever we hire quite extensively. Having a couple of years of experience won’t hurt your chances, but we’re not looking to hire someone senior this time around.

Also, HR required me to say that we’re definitely not vampires recruiting young people for their fresh blood.

--Do I need a college degree?--

You just need to be awesome.

--Are there any geographic restrictions?--

Technically no. But keep in mind that we hire internationally which means you’ll need to be available to interview people from different timezones. 

Theoretically, anywhere around the GMT zone (UTC -5 to UTC +5) would be perfect. If you’re outside of this range, we can still make this work. Just keep in mind that you might occasionally work earlier or later than regular business hours, depending on your location. 

--Is it just going to be recruiting/hiring?--

We intend to grow substantially, and we’re gonna need a lot of people to do that. There will probably be times when we won’t be hiring, so we’ll want you to do some other high-level stuff. Everyone in the company is basically a generalist, and you will inevitably be one as well - at least at the start.

--This sounds pretty good, though I’m still skeptical that this isn’t a pyramid scheme.--

You sound just like our tax auditor!

--That doesn’t resolve any of my fears, but what do I need to do to apply?--

Please submit your information on the following page to apply. We promise to respond within 5-10 business days even if our answer is No.

There will be multiple steps in this process, FYI, including a long written application, interviews with potentially a few different people, and paid work test(s). Hiring the right people is really hard and very expensive if we do it poorly, so we have to front-load the process. I'm sorry about that and thank you for sticking with us.

Once you’re in our pipeline though, I would anticipate giving you a final answer within a few weeks, depending on how it goes. We definitely don’t want to string you along, and as long as you do what we ask, we promise to tell you “yes” or “no”, and to not just ghost you (like everybody I match with on Tinder).

Thank you for your time and interest, and I hope we can work together soon!

Skills

• recruiting
• interviewing
• hiring